I don't fix a lot of different meals, we have our favorites and our tried and trues and we stick to them. The problem with Annie has always been 2 things,
1. what I make is too spicy for her
2. Joe doesn't get home until late and she is starving so badly that I feed her something before he gets home and she has dessert (or sometimes colors) in her high chair while we eat dinner so that we are all still together at the table as a family.
If our meal is too spicy then I usually give her a Gerber meal or something that rounds out the food groups according to what she has had during the day.
Problem. The past few days she has been eating a little of what I give her, then pointing to our food on the table and wanting "this", we offer it to her, she spits it out and points to something else and this goes on until she has refused everything at the table twice and is screaming because we will not give her what she has already spit out twice!
Today at lunch after 2 bites of a gerber meal (which she clapped and celebrated over when I got it out) and half a banana she wanted my lunch. I offered her everything and she just kept pointing saying "this"! Finally I told her that she had to eat her meal or she could go to bed and she took her bib off and opted for bed!
So I ask you, does this mean she is old enough for the all or nothing discipline? Do I start making her eat foods that she doesn't like? I realllllly don't want to! Do I start making food that is more Annie friendly?
Another few contributing factors is that we have been eating so randomly at different peoples houses and in restaurants in the past month that this could just be a reflection of no routine, however I foresee fights over food in the future and I want to start early! Also she has been with Joe's family a lot and french fries, chicken nuggets and fruit are staples in their diets and what child wouldn't eat that for every meal?
So I ask, what would you do? Clean slate, start new, new dinner time rules? I like that I am laid back about some things and food is one of them, but I dont want to ruin my childs diet forever!
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11 comments:
With your family being in transition, I wouldn't worry about it until you're settled in your new home. My two-cents worth!
We were not strict on having to finish the whole plate of food, but they had to at least taste it. To this day, Natalie still doesn't like green beans, but she knows she has to eat 4 of them. And she will tell the person who is serving her that she ONLY needs 4 on her plate!
We did several different tactics over the years. Around Annie's age, if ours didn't eat, they didn't get anything until the next meal, even if it wasn't until breakfast. They didn't get any snacks either. Some of our children went to bed without an evening meal quite often. Don't report us!
With the number of our children, I wasn't going to be a short order cook. If it's a sandwich type meal, they get to choose, but regular meals, no. I know what each child likes and doesn't, so I make sure not to have meals in a row that one doesn't like. I keep offering foods over, and over, and eventually they'll start to like it... usually. Thomas had a whole year around the time he was 5 that he decided he didn't like eggs. We kept having them and he start eating them again.
Don't know if that helps, but that's what happens in Wicker World. Now we have a different problem.....they eat everything too quickly after I purchase it!!!!! TEENAGERS!!!!!
Ha. Brenda's comment was great. :)
I don't have a ton of experience with this since my little ones aren't much older than Annie.
Our only real "rule" about food is that the kids can't have more of one thing until they have at least tried everything on their plates (so no more bread until they've tried the spaghetti and the salad .. or whatever). But even that is a fairly relaxed rule. Sometimes we ask them if they want certain things. Sometimes we put it on their plates and don't give the option.
I don't get too hung up on the kids needing to eat at meal times, either. We do all sit down together, to preserve that family-meal time. But if they're hungry a half hour before dinner and giving them a snack is going to save our sanity, I give them fruit or veggies or cheese and then I don't really concern myself with whether or not it's "ruining their appetites for dinner" because I figure they've already eaten. They only drink water throughout the day, but we offer them their choice of milk or water at meals. Only at restaurants (usually just once a week) do they get the coveted chocolate milk or (gasp!) lemonade. This is partially so that they aren't filling up with beverages and partially because I don't see a lot of nutritional value in most other beverages.
My main theory regarding food and my children is that I will continue to offer them healthy, well rounded, real, non-processed foods (snacks or meals, either way) and I trust that they will get what they need.
And sometimes we just throw caution to the wind and have ice cream and pop corn for lunch. :)
I totally agree with Brenda that not much should be worried about during the time of transition. I would just try and stay as consistent to the family norm as possible and deal with the fall out once you get a good night of sleep in your own bed. ;)
we are dealing with a similar problem with annelise and have recently started making her eat her food or nothing at all.
two nights ago she went to bed without eating dinner.
the next morning she refused to eat her oatmeal. so, i told the sitter she had no choice. oatmeal or nothing. by 11am she had eaten the oatmeal.
i have no idea if i'm doing the right thing, but i know its causing her to think twice about refusing food.
our rule is no snacks if you didn't eat your previous meal. today she ate her entire lunch therefore she was allowed a sucker during our walk. she was happy, i was happy.
best wishes dear! i don't think anything you do will scar her for life. you seem pretty reasonable and well rounded yourself. :)
I'm totally with brenda on waiting until you're in your new home. Don't add stress!!
You know with Elly it's always been pretty easy. But with Port it's a different story! We do have the "you have to finish your plate" rule. He has to eat what we give him or he gets spankings. I guess if it got to it and he just wouldn't eat it then we'd put him to bed without food, but Ben especially just says everyone has to eat their food while we sit there so we've never really gotten to the going to bed without food part. It's been a battle, but I've seen worse! :o) And, the things he'll eat are already expanding.
Lots of good comments. As far as the spice factor goes, when I am cooking a meal I take out some of the chicken (because that's what we typically eat around here) before I add the seasoning or fix it however I am going to. Then the kids eat the plain chicken with dinner.
But I do agree with everyone else, wait until you are settled.
I was going to add my own comments, but it looks like you've got some pretty good advice here. I may even come back here for reference :)
With anella I've realized if I first give her a few bites of what I know she won't want,(sometimes even before others get to the table) she'll eat a little. Then I give her the rest of what we're eating. But, I learned with Dory you can't force all kids to eat everything. But they can choose on their own to be hungry. You'll probably be surprised what she'll eat a little of if she's hungry.
:-)
No advice, just adding this as a bookmark.
Thanks Kate and all contributors :0)
I bought cookies today. May I have all of your children for the day?
haha mom!!
Thank you SO much everyone! Your responses surprised me I have to admit. I was preparing myself for some serious dinner time discipline. I have started only mentioning and offering her things that i wanted her to eat first, I no longer get the fruit out until she has finished her other food. I am still offering her new foods and in fact the night I posted this she ate half a chicken fajita at Aunt Kara's house! I was SUPER proud of her! I have also cut back on the snacking during the day so that I know she is hungry.
You all are SO helpful! I love that I can get so many opinions on things on here!
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