Blessings

I want to blog, I want to write. You all know how therapeutic it is to get all the thoughts out of your head that have been swimming around and around and around making you so tired and your brain feel mushy. But I don't think its a stuck blog post that is making my brain mushy, I know exactly what is making my brain mushy, its this baby it is!
Right now if I were to write down what is in my head it would look like this

"waaahhhhhhhhhh" "Poooorrr meeeeee" "waaahhhhhhhhhh" "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's pathetic, it feels pathetic, it seems pathetic,it definitely looks pathetic, yet it's soooo real. Its my heart. My ugly selfish, I'm so tired, I'm so in pain, did I mention I'm tired and in pain and my brain is mushy, prideful heart.
My morning God time looks something like this every morning, I read some Proverbs truth, I interpret Proverbs just read, I read commentary on Proverbs just read and then I get out my prayer journal and thank Him for teaching me new truths and then I BEG and PLEAD for energy, strength, desire to parent and just do my daily life. I cry for patience and grace. I have never once asked for an easy day, I have never told God that I would like for everyone to leave me alone so that I can do nothing. I think that is my part, I'm willing to be the Mom in charge, I just want God to put me on a grace dolly and push me around so I can go through the motions. :o)

And Ill tell you what, He has delivered! He is so good to me. Monday night I found out that I had to round up all of the wedding stuff for Joe's cousin that I told her I would gather for her. It was a week earlier than I had anticipated her wanting it so I knew Monday night that I had about 5 places to go on top of the 3-4 I already had planned to do. But I didn't call and make arrangements until Tuesday morning as it was all happening and He blessed me with everyone being able to accommodate my last minute needs. Including my wonderful big sis who delivered one said item to my doorstep so I didn't have to drive all the way to moms house for it!
The girls were in great moods, they even got a surprise stop at the park, the library and ate "McUncleDonalds" in the car, so they were quite happy.

Wednesday my house looked like we had been gone Friday through Tuesday and I tortured them by making them help me clean the house. In all actuality I was helping them because Oh My Word their rooms and playroom were disastrous and we cleaned them ALL on Wednesday! And the girls did not mind, we made it fun and rewarding and took breaks and played some games and by the end of the day I even had the floors swept and mopped!!!

Thursday I had computer training all day long and so Joe had the girls and the training KILLED my back and butt so by Friday morning as I was staring down Joe working doubles back to back and therefore having to take my girls to an OB appointment during nap time and no desire to do anything. at. all. and my family going to Indiana without me for the weekend :o( I was quite near tears, till Kris called and I realized that she was home and not in IA like I thought and when I answered the call I just started sobbing! I seriously couldn't contain it. I was laughing as I was telling her these whoa is me stories. And of course she was free and of course she offered to do anything I wanted and or needed. So we settled on her kids playing at my house for a while while she ran one errand and then she took mine while I went to the Dr and then we just hung out together which was all I needed! I just needed vision, and a plan, and to not take my children to my OB apt, and to not feel like I was trying to entertain them all day long with a cranky mommy heart! Instead they got to play with cousins and needed very little, to no intervention from me and got super tired out for bed time and it was such a blessing!

Then of course today I made sure the Mother in law was prepared for us to spend the day pool side and I had a great plan for today as well! The girls, gram and I floated the day away and enjoyed what they tell me was a 90 degree day however I never felt it! It was perfect!

 I promise I did not have anything to do with this, except the fact that she may have taken it as a challenge when I said "you can't fit in there you crazy kid" when I realized what she was doing.

This is what one of their favorite things to do in the pool crazy girls!

I just realized that I have reached my 300th blog post. 300 things to say in about 4 years aint so bad. I have been reading through some of them lately. I have to admit I am proud of some of the growth I see in myself, I am so grateful to have the little stories and memories from my mommy years as I started the blog halfway through my first pregnancy. I can't believe some of the crap I whined about on here and all the new mommy stuff I fretted over. My life certainly did revolve around ME and my baby girl!!! However it gave me a new perspective on other self centered new mommy's as well as a better understanding of what my sisters were laughing shaking their heads and poking good natured fun at me for way back when I was an even more neurotic OCD mom ;o)
Everyone's got to go through it to figure it out for themselves and (hopefully) grow from the experience. I know I have grown a ton and look forward to growing even more!!!

I am 33weeks5days pregnant. I have spent the majority of this pregnancy not really knowing for sure how far along I was, mostly because I wanted to be done so badly that I was in denial that it was still going to be while so I would ignore the calendar. Now I feel like I have gotten close enough to my due date that I am counting down the days for many reasons.
I started contracting Monday. A lot. It made me think and feel sorry for friends like Katie N who has gone through that sort of thing before. I have realized that caffeine and specifically Diet Dr Pepper makes me contract regularly. So while this is something to avoid for the next few weeks, buddy when I reach full term you may see me wandering around with it streaming directly into my veins. ;o)
Because of these contractions I think that baby girl has moved down a little and is no longer camped out under my right rib cage causing me to have to sit leaned to the left and pushing her down out of my ribs all day long. She still finds her way there by about 4:00 every day, but Ill take it over all day long.
I have realized that my pregnancy could be almost over and since I am no longer having the knife stabbing pain in my ribs and am a little bit more comfortable I am enjoying it a little bit more than I was... Ill take it as a gift from the Lord because he knows I have not been enjoying it for the majority of the pregnancy.
I am starting to prepare mentally and domestically for this new baby. I have started freezing meals, 2 pot pies, 1 lasagna, and a huge batch of meatballs are in my freezer already. I have plans for more, we will see if it happens. I made Joe a very short do-able "honey do" list so that I can move all of Mia's clothes into Annie's room. Which entails fixing the closet door to open & close instead of always staying open :o)
His next task is to hang swings in the big tree out back and Gram dropped of a kiddie pool (to replace our baby pool) yesterday that she spotted and picked up because she knew I wanted one. My goal is to have a fun back yard with fun back yard things to do this summer so that I don't feel like we need to constantly leave the house.

I have no good close to this jumbled up post, except to say thanks for caring enough to read 301 posts filled with all of my jumbled up thoughts!

Sunny Day Photos

 This is what they were doing when Annie asked that I get the camera and take their pictures

 This is the child that gets asked "You know you are a crazy woman right?" a million times a day

 This is the child that has decided she is a photo bug and will pose with many fun faces for me

 These are the itty bitty toes that get a request for paint nearly every morning.

 This is a Daddy threatening to roll a huge brush pile over on a baby pretending to care

This is the aforementioned crazy woman choosing to sit on the weed eater and ride it and her big sister that chose the (still plugged in) hedge trimmer. We called that game quits pretty quick, you know, after laughing and taking pictures of course!

Babys = Bunkbeds

Annie has been sleeping for the past year in the bottom piece of the bunk beds that Joe's sisters used when they were little. We were very blessed by Joe's mom that she keeps everything in the world and still had them stored away in her basement. Although we have no intention of letting Mia out of her cage baby bed any time soon, I have decided that it is one thing that we can knock off the to do list before baby gets here.

Annie was more than excited that this was happening

Mia can't climb up into Annie's bed by herself yet which I don't foresee lasting the rest of the week!

Turns out the side rails for the second bed are M.I.A but Joe went ahead and built the loft bed with the ones we had and we will make new ones when Mia is ready to move in. Right now I just have a glorious huge space for putting toys and making awesome tents!

Its the shortest little bunk bed in the entire world. It only stands about 4 feet high. Annie can't even walk under it without having to duck her head.

And I know that the double side rails seems redundant, however after trying to sleep in the same room/bed as Annie a few weeks ago in Indiana and witnessing her thrashing, moving, crawling, rolling and everything shy of leaping out of bed while she sleeps I just felt more comfortable having the extra height.



Feeling "Un"

I hate when I feel like I am just trying to make it through the day. Its not survival mode, nothing is going horribly wrong, children are their same old selves. I am just not feeling it. I am uninspired, unmotivated, and UnComfortable! My morning prayers have been wrapping up lately with a plea for help staying on task & motivated to do my daily life stuff as unto Him.
I just put the girls down for nap and I find myself reflecting on the morning, not really knowing what got done and thinking of all there is I should be doing.
I am loving the girls at this age and holy cow this weather! I feel like I am neglecting their creativity because I am just so very blah! And I feel bad about it, I get even "downer" when I think about the heat that is coming and how much more I will loathe the outside and the baby that is coming and how strapped to home I think I am going to be.
I have no idea what this 3rd baby will bring. Maybe I will just strap her on and she will be along for our ride. I sure hope so. I am trying to envision it that way so that when she gets here maybe my positive forethought will inspire me. Its like they tell you in college if you picture yourself in the room that you will be taking the test in while you study you will do better. I don't know if it worked, maybe I would have failed if I hadn't done it ;o)
I am also trying to picture myself going for a walk every morning after her feeding and before the girls get up. You know in a perfect world where Joe has no place to be and everyone cooperates with this scenario :o)
But as I sit here adding to the list to do laundry & call the insurance company, hospital, and pay bills I realized that I have already cleaned a bathroom, made granola, fed children, clothed children, spent more than 20min outside for my daily vit D and colored about 3 pages of Strawberry Shortcake characters. So the fact that I could no longer stay upright at 11:30 and suggested a movie instead of a nice stimulating game of some sort before nap doesn't seem so bad. I am just glad the plan is to go hang out at Grammys tonight!

Walnut Tree Sprouts & Breakfast

I have this little planter box that had one lone daffodil in it last year. I leave it on the table between my rocking chairs just to remind me that I could plant some gorgeous flowers in it someday if I really wanted to.

It has been played in and dug in and mostly it just sports some grass and weeds.

Yesterday I pulled this rather tall tree sprout out just because and with it came the entire walnut that it was growing from! Annie immediately exclaimed with wonder over an 8 inch tree growing from a giant 2 inch nut! I was so excited I was able to show her the walnut and the tree and how it grew and everything! I laid it aside with intentions to grab my camera and take some really cool science lesson pictures.

However the idea was quickly forgotten and this morning during breakfast I was watching this little guy run around on the back deck only to hear Annie yell "Mom, that squirrel is eating your tree!"

Oops, oh well, now all that is left is the root ball and tree twig :o( Happy breakfast little grey squirrel, we had Trader Joe's multi grain waffles with bananas (and sprinkles of course :o) It was a first time purchase/using of the Multi grain mix and I am a HUGE fan, I highly recommend it!

Baby/Life Update

As I was grunting and groaning trying to get out of Annie's bed tonight after good night kisses she said "your baby is heavy!" I appreciated her awareness of my current cross to bear :o)

Just for the personal history segment of my blog I am 31 weeks today. I am feeling much better pelvis wise its now down to a much more realistic manageable level of careful position change and such. The belly is so very, very, uncomfortable. I can't remember feeling so sore in certain spots from a baby's position but man its there this time. I am carrying SO high! I wont say this too loud but she is definitely leaving my lower half alone, no soreness there, she is just floating and jammed up in my rib cage!
She still has no name although I have narrowed it down to a few favorites and will leave it at that until she is born. I am overly worried about delivering earlier than 36 weeks this time for no good reason at all except for something to worry about. The Dr's have all said they will have me start coming in earlier for my weekly visits and keep an eye on me. The sad part is that there are things around 35-36 weeks that are on my calendar that I would like to be able to commit to doing and I just simply do not have the confidence in myself to not go into labor! So sadly I will probably not be going to Indiana for my cousins graduation celebration and Joe's cousins wedding in Lexington is still up in the air even though its closer I really don't want to go into labor there either!

I love Mia's attempts at funny faces

Matching Big sister, Little Sister shirts I picked up on sale at Carter's. I couldn't resist!

Mom, this is where you stop reading, you wont appreciate the topic of the next paragraph.

Small unwelcome house guests... they have decided my house is a good place to come and stay. Well they are being evicted and if they don't heed the warnings posted in 8 various places throughout my kitchen and basement they will regret it! I didn't go for Mrs nice homeowner, I went for the kill! I want them GONE! TONIGHT!

I associate mice with uncleanliness which I know is simply not true, its just how I feel. However I found droppings in the bin of laundry soaps and stain removers in the laundry room... you cant get much cleaner than a recently organized (yes Kara, even the laundry soap gets organized!) & cleaned out Rubbermaid tote of SOAP & BLEACH!