Baby Havin'

I am a self proclaimed labor junkie (convenient job I have, right?). I love labor, I love thinking about it, I love going into labor, I love early labor and full fledged labor. However I will tell you that I have always gotten an epidural so I don't really know what the throes of labor are like, so feel free to tell me I am a crazy person who has no idea what I am talking about.

 

There was much sorrow and coming to terms with the finale of my pregnancy with Carly when finding out in full on labor that she was breech and I would have to have a C-Section.

However I am grateful for His grace in the fact that the sorrow didn't last longer than a few days of simply accepting it and moving on.

 

I honestly didn't think I would ever be ready to be done having babies. I thought the baby fever and the desire to be pregnant would be too strong to resist. However the reality of pregnancy and labor typically results in another child that you then have to take care of and parent. :o)

 

This has all lead me (and Joe agrees) to the realization that I. Am. Done! I don't wanna do it anymore. Not the parenting part, that is going to last quite a while, but the baby having part. I am pretty excited about this. I know there will be many days and times that I wish, and wonder and even get sad but God and reality are stronger than emotions and I will get through.

 

The funny thing is the little things that He is providing me with that make me not question our decision. My pregnancy is going wonderful so far, however with Carly it was kind of awful with all the pain and discomfort I seriously had thoughts of pitching myself out the window (in good humor of course, I was never actually suicidal). Painful pregnancy is not dreamy, I have no desire to keep that up. C-Sections are not the same, it doesn't give me the same high labor does. So why would I put labor and delivery on a pedestal like an idol when there is no guarantee? I also love, love, love feeling the baby move, to the point of probably being the most annoying mother a fetus ever had! I poke and prod and bug just to feel them poke back! However did you know that if you have an anterior placenta that is on the front of your uterus it blocks the feelings and you just don't feel all those kicks and jabs like you would otherwise. Now I am not saying I have an anterior placenta, I have no idea yet. However I am having very, very few of those first early flutters and it makes me think again about my idols of the perfect pregnancy. None of that stuff is what being pregnant is about! Its a miracle even without the kicks, it is a miracle with a C-Section. It is a miracle when you are miserable on bed rest, in pain, puking or what have you for 9 months!

 

And with all of this He is showing me what an idol I had made all things pregnancy and baby havin and I am thankful for the lesson and excited for the rest of this so far so good pregnancy. My ultrasound is in twelve days and I am super excited and super nervous as always to find out the sex and to make sure everything looks ok. The girls and I are still convinced its a boy and whereas Joe is not willing to think the same, I have heard a few boy comments come out of his mouth that have never bothered to be uttered before in the past :o)



 

 



17weeks 5 days