The Me He Wants Me To Be

Seriously having a hard time turning my brain off lately.

 

I have so much on my mind,

big stuff,

 important stuff,

 mundane task stuff,

 reflection stuff,

 restlessness,

 unhappiness,

 contentment,

 God stuff,

 good stuff,

 emotional stuff,

 fun stuff,

 life changing stuff

...

but isn't all stuff life changing?

 

I am feeling the ebb and flow of sanctification right now. I feel growing pains but not bad ones, just pains that I will look back on if I get to be old and gray and see like Polaroid snapshots of times when He changed me more into the likeness of Him and turning me into me.

 

When I think about the younger me I am glad she is gone. She was nice enough but the Polaroid shots just keep getting better and better. Sweeter and deeper and more meaningful as I have aged. A lot has changed over the years, a lot of experiences and regrets that make me do things differently these days. I guess that's just "sanctification baby". I use quotes there because that is my mantra these days.

 

I feel Him prodding me in new ways.

I feel His guidance and I appreciate that I know He is in control.

I feel at rest with where He has me right now which is good. I want to be fully here, I want to be fully present in this time with these little babies because I am looking forward to their future and I want to make sure I invest in their here and now and not miss out on this short time.

 

They are small,

they are needy,

they are selfish,

they are emotional roller coasters,

they are of the flesh just like me

 

Romans 3

 

¹⁰ as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one;
¹¹ no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”
¹³ “Their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps (snakes) is under their lips.”
¹⁴ “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
¹⁵ “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
¹⁶ in their paths are ruin and misery,
¹⁷ and the way of peace they have not known.”
¹⁸ “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”

¹⁹ Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God. ²⁰ For by works of the law no human being^[c] will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.

 

 

I keep trying to lay down the law so they will keep the law. It is time I teach teach them the law in order that they might know sin and repentance and grace!

 

 

So I will do the daily tasks that He has set before me.

 

I will learn my husband more and grow our relationship deeper.

 

 I will wake up before the sun and change diapers and read books and teach letters and shapes and paint and hide and seek and kiss and hug and snuggle.

 

 I will be a Labor & Delivery nurse and love the people I interact with at the hospital.

 

I will coordinate the children's ministry and the volunteers and love the people that I come into contact with there.

 

I will explore the things I am passionate about and be more purposeful with my time. 

 

And through all of this I will bring glory to Him, preaching His name and giving Him the glory for it all.  

 

 

Thanks for the outlet blog world!