What God is Teaching Me

New thoughts, ideas, and ways of thinking become much more concrete for me when I say them out loud or get them all out on paper (or blog) to see or hear if its actually truth. I have found lately that sometimes I will say something out loud and as soon as it comes out of my mouth I want to take it back or reword it because simply hearing myself say it makes me realize that is not exactly right and God has given me His truths and a brain for a reason so that I can decipher these thoughts.
Because I get so excited about new things that He is teaching me I have decided to try to write them out here, to give Him the glory for what He is doing in my life. I have become one of those people who wants to ask everyone I come into contact with "what is God doing in your life?" because I am so excited about Him in mine that I want to hear what He is doing for others.

So here is one topic I have been mulling around lately...


What a work God has been doing in my life lately. Pastor Brad has been preaching sermons on Idols of the Heart and in addition to that our bible study has been reading the book he just had published on the same topic. Through this he encourages you to examine your heart for things you might be idolizing. An idol doesn't have to be something bad and its especially not the first thing that comes to mind like a statue of a golden calf or a totem pole (at least those are the things that come to my mind when someone says idol) that you bow down to and worship. By his definition an idol is "Anything or anyone that begins to capture your heart, mind, & affections more than God."

My easiest ways to look for them so far has been at his suggestion of what makes you angry, what do you spend your time thinking or worrying about & what do you spend your money on. Also asking myself "would you sin to get it, sin to keep it?".

It has brought to my attention many different areas in my life that I was trying to force a good thing like obedient children. I have been able to see myself in a new light that when I get angry or impatient with the girls it is because they are not doing things fast enough with a cheerful attitude. I get angry with them and start yelling when they are slow to respond or seem to be ignoring me completely. I have realized a few things
 1)I need to constantly be teaching them what is expected of them instead of demanding them to jump when I say jump. I need to get down and look them in the eye and hold their hands & attention and explain to them daily what I am expecting them to do (clean up the blocks) and even why (we are getting ready for lunch and then naps so if we clean up first then all the toys aren't all over the house and when you wake up we will be ready to play something new) It gives them a purpose for what they are doing instead of marching when the dictator says so. And taking time to do this will give them a foundation of obedience because sometimes I do need them to do something quickly with obedience just because I said so!
2) They must acknowledge that I have spoken. Simply turning and walking away or continuing on with what they are doing is rude and says "You are not important & I don't care what you are saying" and I have no way of knowing if they even heard me because lets be honest, when the TV is on I doubt they do!
3) They are KIDS and kids are not adults. Deep, I know. I have had 30 years of learning and an OCD personality to go along with the fact that when I want to clean a room I have a system that works and agility to get it done. Kids are slow & clumsy and spill the full bucket of blocks twice before it makes it to the playroom and they get distracted & want to twirl and jump and crawl around the room instead of walking a straight line and its just takes time. And I have learned that if I slow down and let them crawl to me barking like a dog when I ask them to come get dressed they are not being disobedient they are being kids. And also that I have to allot for a whole lot more time to get things done. Kids can't clean up breakfast dishes and get dressed in 10 minutes.

My new challenge is to try to let them express their personalities and not squander who they are and shove them into my little box of who I think they should be (i.e Me).
Annie is my emotional one. She is passionate about everything and I don't encourage that enough because I can't relate. But I am looking forward to jumping in alongside her and getting excited when she is excited. Last week she came RUNNING (you know when kids run its RUNNING) across the yard screaming Mama! Mama! holding "her very first feather!" I wanted to say "eww yuck, birds are gross and feathers are gross put that down!" but instead I examined it and praised her for finding it and was excited with her and let her brush its sofness on her cheeks (ack!) and even helped her look for it when she lost it 5 seconds later. I cared, because she cared, and I'll admit it was fun!

Mia is my crazy woman. I haven't yet decided what it is about her that I need to embrace other than the sticky fingers, messy hair and endless supply of "play clothes" because there comes to a point when you just have to give up on stain treating every single spot every single day!!! I can encourage her weirdness and quirks easily because she gets them from me and I think she is hilarious :o) I have a hard time with the fact that she does not reason well and when I say "come" she turns and runs the opposite direction laughing and tripping over her pigeon toes the whole way. She is the little sister but she is not so little anymore and so I am still trying to figure out what to allow her to do and how to teach Annie that she is her equal.

So I can say that I have been enjoying them a lot more lately because I no long have disobedient little soldiers who are constantly out of formation and not saying "Yes Ma'am" when I bark an order. I have children with dimples in their chins, cheeks (and bottoms:o) I have girls with as many emotions as I do who need help reigning them in and directing them into passions instead of flinging themselves on the bed every time their Tutu is in the dirty laundry because you can still dance and twirl on laundry day you just have to suck it up and know that sometimes life gives you blue jeans! :o)