The Lords Work In Me

I am too wordy. I know this about myself. It is something that I am working on. I hate that when I want to recount a story for memory's sake or your mild amusement that it turns into a mostly boring and too many details novel.
So I am going to attempt to get my point across and convey my feelings on this one in as few words as possible.

The History
My food consumption habits are out of control. I used to think I had terrible metabolism. I would work out 3-4 days at the gym and would not loose an ounce. I would hear others say "I work out so I can eat whatever I want". I liked that thought and decided I could live that way too. Then I would go home and make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and eat half the batter, bake the rest because "I don't like baked cookies, just the dough" and then freeze them and end up eating all of those also. I would buy ice cream that would be gone in 2 days... consumed by me alone. So clearly my metabolism was normal and I was hitting it over the head with full gallons of ice cream and bowls of cookie dough.

The Turning Point
I believe it takes a certain amount of spiritual maturity to respond to the call to fast. I don't think I have been at this level of maturity for long. I have felt the Lord pricking my heart about fasting a few times in the recent past, however I was always either pregnant or nursing and therefore didn't give it more than a passing thought.
A few months ago I was feeling the Lord tug at my heart and telling me that fasting comes in many forms and looks different for many people. He was just asking that I listen and obey.

At about this same time I walked into women's bible study with a banana in hand as part of my breakfast. My WONDERFUL friend and group leader commented on my healthy choice and I looked her square in the eye and admitted to her that something had to change. In my mind that morning I was thinking the standard female thought "Ill fast from sweets for a week and start eating healthy and that will kick off a 3 month pre-Maui worthy diet.
Ann challenged me to a month fast from sweets. !!!!!!!!!! I think those 10 exclamation points should count as a full sentence, no a full thought. A month! Without ANYTHING! Ugh!
My WONDERFULEST friend Jessi and sister in Jesus, and I had a picnic lunch after class that day and she launched into how she was ready to diet and loose the baby weight from her pregnancy 3 mo ago. I told her I was thinking the same thing and I told her about my history of eating habits and Ann's challenge. Jess shared with me that she once fasted for a year to overcome a sinful eating mentality! Oh boy God! What are you saying to me???

What God Was Saying
"Trust me, turn to me when you desire to turn to food, trust that I can deliver you from your unhealthy eating mentality"
"Trust that I can fill you up and that I am your portion"
"know that you are an addict and need to treat this as a sin pattern"
"lead a life dependent on Me"
"I will teach you more about just healthy eating habits, I will teach you how to apply the gospel of the cross to your life on a daily basis"

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God promised to those who love him.

"If we want to overcome sin we need to change not only our actions but sinful desires as well " -Brad Brant

Ephesians 4:19 having lost all sensitivity they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity with a continual lust for more (paraphrased for application)
22-24 you were taught with regard to your former way of life to put off the old self which is being corrupted by deceitful desires to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on a NEW SELF created to be LIKE GOD in true righteousness and holiness (who doesn't want to be like Him?)

What God Has Done
That all happened on October 19th. Turns out that was a big week for me I got pregnant that week also. If any of you have ever been pregnant or known a pregnant person, you know there is such a thing as cravings. Enough said.
It has been hard. It saddens me that it should be so hard at times. Like I shouldn't be so dependent on something so indulgent as a quart of buckeye blitz ice cream from Graters.
Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas & American culture scream sweets, indulgences, and special traditions baked by loved ones.
So there has been struggling. I have clung to Rom 5 that through our Sufferings bring Perseverance which adds Character and with that there is Hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us!!!

I feel like I am cheating people like Corrie Ten Boom who probably clung to those verses as they clung to their lives and watched their loved ones die. Like those verses are applicable to her in her suffering but not me in my menial little fast. But God has revealed otherwise to me. He is teaching me what it means to turn to Him and look to Him for answers and application in all areas of my life and He is making me a stronger child because of this. He has been faithful in teaching me new things and bringing me new trials and temptations through this. And I know that as a result I will have a deeper understanding of him and relationship with him as a result which is what one would require to go through a trial like the one Corrie Ten Boom endured. Even Corrie had to start somewhere :o)

Summary
So there you have my mini novel. There are so many more words I could have used to tell my story, but I hope you had the time to read it and hopefully be blessed by it. If you see me ask me about my holy encounter with a Chocolate Lava Cake at our worlds best anniversary dinner.

I feel the Lord telling me to fast for a year. It took about a month to work out with Him all the why's and what for's. But it boils down to I knew he was saying I could benefit from more than a month. I questioned the interesting timing of the pregnancy and in conversation with other people who abstain from sweets for many reasons I have decided that the Lord may be giving me the gift of an easier post partum experience if I remain sweets free for a year as some believe that there is a correlation between sugar and controlling hormones.
So here's to my next 8 months with prayers that He changes me more and more!